In Support of the Pot Stirrer
Why the instigator is necessary, and who does it best
Most people assume reality TV is middle-aged women screaming and fighting with one another while sipping martinis and wearing fabulous outfits. While we do enjoy those moments, there is obviously much more to it than that. How did that screaming fit start? Usually from the pot stirrer of the group.
This week’s follower prompt was: Do you think it is necessary to have one big pot stirrer in a reality show?
Short answer? Yes. Long answer? Let’s begin.
Just like the plot of a movie or fashion trends, reality TV stories are cyclical. There’s a conflict, the conflict festers, the conflict gets brought up, the conflict (usually) gets bigger and, if we’re lucky, it gets resolved. And we begin again. This cycle wouldn’t function properly without the unrealistic role of the pot stirrer. Reality TV isn’t a natural way to live — you’re not SUPPOSED to see conversations people have behind your back, yet living in that reality, they HAVE to. The pot stirrer is the one that brings it to the group or to the forefront and that’s what makes the plot of the show. I truly don’t think there’s a way for reality TV to exist if someone isn’t bringing the issues to the forefront. It’s nothing more complicated than the classic housewives game at the dinner table:
The beauty of there being so many different ways to cast a reality TV show, is that it opens up TONS of different avenues for the pot to get stirred. Here are some of my personal favorite pot stirrer tropes:
THE DRAMA QUEEN: Phaedra Parks (RHOA, The Traitors, Married to Medicine)
Multi-hyphenate Phaedra Parks is a quintessential drama queen pot stirrer — her approach is always being the theatrical troublemaker. Whether it was her wedding-inspired baby shower during the early RHOA days that she threw for herself or the funeral party to resurrect Quad in Season 10 of Married to Medicine, nothing Phaedra does is under the radar. This type of pot stirrer is essential to shows because it puts the group in scenarios they just absolutely wouldn’t be in normally, and it totally forces them out of their comfort zone. And in Phaedra’s case, it’s usually always done in epic attire.
THE SLOPPY STIRRER: Dorinda Medley (RHONY, RHUGT)
When she’s startin there’s no stoppin! Being the sloppy stirrer, like Dorinda, is a very tricky part to play — especially because you can end in being put indefinitely on pause when it’s taken too far. The sloppiness is typically essential to the show because it gets the drama swirled up when the cast has usually had a few too many drinks already, making for some massive overreaction and some of the most hilarious scenes. The Sloppy Stirrer can play a key role in using late night moments as an excuse to bring up something that everyone had been thinking but was too nervous to say. You know that saying “drunk words are sober thoughts”? The Sloppy Stirrer is the epitome of that.
THE DOORBELL DITCHER: Mike The Situation (Jersey Shore, Jersey Shore Family Vacation)
Mike is the classic ding-dong-ditcher — he rings the doorbell and runs away. He’s always the one bringing the drama to the table, but he never admits it or confronts it himself. A fly on the wall if you will. He has even called himself “The Instigation” before, which further proves that he knows exactly when he’s stirring it up. This type of pot stirrer on a show isn’t necessarily my favorite because, in the words of Lisa Rinna, I’d much rather you just OWN IT. This is also where I’d put Jax Taylor.
THE ELOQUENT ARBITRATOR: Garcelle Beauvais (RHOBH)
This is probably the most logical type of pot stirrer to be — the one who brings the necessary drama to the table in a concrete, functional, unbiased way to get to the root of the issue. Garcelle NAILS this every single time. She is the wise soul amongst young grasshoppers when it comes to articulating problems and providing solutions. Is this as entertaining as the other types of pot stirrers? No, but sometimes it’s necessary.
THE PRODUCER PLANT: Lala Kent (VPR Season 11)
The worst kind of pot stirrer is when it’s made obvious that the producers put them up to it. Lala in this most recent season of VPR is the prime example of where this goes wrong. She swung the pendulum of her opinions so far away from where she stood last season that it became glaringly obvious that she was trying to be a teacher’s pet by getting the storylines she thought they wanted. When shows don’t have a natural pot stirrer like the above, this is where this type of instigator usually comes in — ideally, we have a good enough cast where this isn’t the case.
